Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors
by scruby
Summary: JD finds out Perry has a nasty habit. JDCox slash. Chapter 3 uploaded.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** JD/Cox slash. Based on the song by the Editors "Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors".

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

_"I can't shake this feeling I've got  
My dirty hands, have I been in the wars?  
The saddest thing that I'd ever seen  
Were smokers outside the hospital doors"_

JD's face started to hurt from the smile he was wearing for the last 30 minutes. One of his patients, an 11 years old boy that had cancer, had a love for football and was getting bored from lying in his bed. So JD bought him a ball and was playing with him for the last half hour in his room.

The kid wore a matching expression, smiling from ear to ear He was giggling and laughing all the way.

They were playing for awhile until the young patient threw the ball so hard that it hit JD's leg, which sent the ball flying through the window

"Oops?" JD offered to his patient, who rolled his eyes in response and went back to his bed, covering himself with his blanket.

"I'm sorry; I'll go get it back, ok?"

"Uh huh." The boy answered, his focus already turning to the TV screen. JD moved to the window so he could see where the ball had landed. Luckily it was still in the borders of the hospital and he recognized the place as one of the smoker's corners.

The young doctor grabbed his stethoscope from the counter, where he put it earlier so it wouldn't interfere with his game, placed it on his neck and walked out of the room towards the smoker's corner to retrieve the ball.

On his way down he got paged. He cursed under his breath as he changed his direction and ran towards the room that he was paged to. The little kid would have to wait a bit longer; kid could use some sleep anyway.

Ten minutes later the trauma was over and the patient was saved. JD made his way down to the smoker's corner, with a big smile on his face once again, this time from succeeding to save someone's life.

He arrived at the door and prepared himself for the cloud of smoke. JD had never smoked in his life. Well, he tried it once and hated it and he never tried it again. He hated cigarettes and his opinion of a person would lessen if he found out they were asmoker.

As he opened the door and stepped outside he saw that his assumptions were right. A cloud of dark, thick, smelly smoke met him. He waved his hand in front of his face and looked for the ball. It was resting in the corner of the veranda, not minding the smoke. JD smiled to himself again and went to grabbed it. He picked up the ball and hugged it tight against his chest. Then he walked over to the door and was about to leave when his eyes caught something odd.

He turned his head to the left and saw Dr. Perry Cox, his mentor, leaning on the wall, looking into space, smoking.

JD's smile vanished and was replaced with a deep frown. He knew Perry used to smoke, but he was sure he'd quit years ago. Of all people, he didn't expect to find him there.

He moved closer to the older man. Dr. Cox still didn't notice him. It looked like he was deep in thought.

"What the hell are you doing?" JD finally said.

Dr. Cox shook his head, apparently a bit surprised to be interrupted. He moved his head to the left and saw JD standing next to him, gazing at him with an angry, accusing look.

"Shelly, what do you want from me?" He asked with a frown on his face.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing with this cancer stick in your hand? I thought that you stopped years ago."

Dr. Cox snorted, "Just what the hell do you think you're doing talking to me like this Newbie? Sarah, you're the last person on earth that has the right to tell me what to do, and you're the last person on earth that I'll listen to. Now move your scrawny body out of here before I'll shove my pack of cigarettes so deep into your ass that smoke would come out of your nostrils." He turned his head back and took a long drag from his cigarette, closing his eyes as he slowly let the smoke out, trying to irritate JD.

It worked. JD clenched the ball even closer to his body and greeted his teeth.

"I wouldn't normally dare to 'Tell you what to do'," JD said with venom in his voice, "But I can't believe that you can be _so_ stupid. You're a doctor; you should know the risks of smoking more than anyone else."

"Newbie, did you just call me stupid?" Dr. Cox turned his head quickly to the left and stared hard at JD. "I'm this close to acutely punching you. "I'm this close to actually punching you." He took another drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke right in front of JD's face.

The young man returned the look, "Never mind, I don't fucking care. Kill yourself if you want." He said as he walked towards the door and stormed angrily out of the veranda.

Perry leaned back on the wall. He closed his eyes and sighed. Even if he didn't want to admit it, he didn't like the idea of JD catching him smoking. He hated himself for feeling like that, but JD's words stung him a little. The kid was really disappointed with him and it bothered him more then he wanted it to.

Dr. Cox took a few more drags from his cigarette and then put it out on the ashtray. He threw what was left into a garbage can and walked over to the door. He opened it and stepped inside the hospital, sighing hard and rubbing his hands across his face.

* * *

JD went back to his patient's room, the frown still planted on his face. He couldn't believe that Dr. Cox had started smoking again. He didn't understand how he could do it; both of them were doctors, both of them saw the damage it caused to so many of their patients.

Cancer, coronary heart diseases, abdominal aortic aneurysm, chronic obstructive lung diseases, raises the risk for strokes and the list goes on and on. Not to mention the bad breath, the yellow teeth and all the second hand smoke it causes They've both seen enough people fading away and dying from its effects. So how could Dr. Cox be so stupid and do it to himself? Why not just pump pure poison into his veins?

The young doctor arrived at his patient's room and found him sleeping as he suspected he would be. He placed the ball on the table and moved to the kid's bed. He covered him with a blanket, still deep in his thoughts.

He didn't understand why it bothered him so much. He hated cigarettes and he would be angry with anyone who smoked, but for some unexplained reason it made him even angrier to see Perry do it, even more than anyone else. He remembered how he kept preaching to one of his patients years ago about the effects of cigarettes and tried to do everything he could to make him stop. He wondered if he still had that voice box he used to try to scare him, and he wondered if it would work on Dr. Cox.

He also remembered how Dr. Cox told him that he couldn't change people. They would keep doing things that will hurt them, and all he could do is help them when they got sick.

Still, he decided that he wasn't going to sit back and watch Perry smoking those death sticks. He'll make Perry's life a living hell until he quit smoking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** JD/Cox slash. Based on the song by the Editors "Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors".

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

_"I can't shake this feeling I've got  
My dirty hands, have I been in the wars?  
The saddest thing that I'd ever seen  
Were smokers outside the hospital doors"_

It wasn't hard for Carla to notice the shift of things between JD and Dr. Cox.

The day started as usual. Carla stood at the nurse's station and greeted her friends and co-workers. JD arrived and started to chat with her when Dr. Cox appeared by his side and gave JD his morning rant, dragging him away to start their morning rounds.

Still she could feel something was different but she couldn't put her finger on it, until lunch. When she sat with her friends in the cafeteria, eating her food, she finally had some time to rest and observe the atmosphere around her. Then it came to her, the hospital was quieter than usual, and it started to dawn on her why. 

JD wasn't following Dr. Cox around all day, chattering away at him, and Dr. Cox wasn't yelling at him. Not only that, but there was this cold distance between them. They talked only when they absolutely had to.

It was after both men were paged because one of their patients was crashing, that she decided to figure out what was going on.

The patient's lungs collapsed and his heart stopped working. They worked on him for about 30 minutes but they couldn't save him and they had to call it. The three of them exited the room with a foul mood. JD threw his gloves into a trash can and before he went on his way she noticed he looked so upset with Dr. Cox she actually wondered if he might hit him. Dr. Cox looked just as upset, gritting his teeth. Before either spoke, he turned in the opposite direction and stormed away.

Carla followed him, almost running as she tried to catch up with him. She touched his shoulder when she reached him and he turned his head to look at her. When he saw it was her he slowed down.

"What was that all about?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, irritated.

"Oh, nothing, just the death glares that you and Bambi were exchanging back there. What's up with you two?"

Perry growled and stopped in his tracks. He turned around to face Carla and put his finger between them.

"First of all, there's nothing going on between me and Fiona, don't associate me with anything that has anything to do with Newbie. I haven't noticed any odd behavior from her, because of the simple fact that I don't care about--and don't pay any attention to--that little princess. Maybe she got her period today, I don't know, and I don't care. Second, you've got to stop pushing your nose in to everyone's business. Find a goddamned life." Then he turned his back to her and stormed off.

Carla stared at his back as he walked away. "He is so going to pay for this..." she said in a shaky voice.

After his outburst at Carla, Dr. Cox went to the only place he could think of. He stepped outside to the smoker's corner, slamming the door behind him. He leaned his body against the wall and took out his pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He took out one of the cigarettes and lit it, putting the pack back in his pocket.

He closed his eyes and took a long inhalation, letting it out slowly. 

He didn't mean to be so harsh to Carla. Of all the people in the hospital he didn't want to hurt her. She was one of the few people who could really understand him and he could really call a friend, and he really needed someone like that lately. He slumped his shoulders thinking it was so like him to distance himself from his friends just when he needed them most. 

But it was a long day, and a long week for that matter, and he just took all of his frustration out on her. Plus, he really couldn't tell Carla the reason why JD was angry with him. If she found out he was smoking she'd kill him too.

He took another drag from his cigarette and dropped his hand from his face, resting back against the wall.

Soon he'd have both JD and Carla breathing down his neck, as though he didn't have enough problems already.

He thought JD was going to nag him all day long and never leave him alone, but instead he kept his distance, sending him angry glares all day and hardly talking to him. For some reason, he found JD's silence more irritating then his regular inability to shut up.

JD stormed down the hallway, headed quickly toward the hospital doors. He stepped out of the hospital and came to a stop on the ramp, leaning on the railings.

His patient had been a serious smoker and so he'd had complications with ammonia, ending up with a collapsed heart. There was nothing they could do for him. After he coded and JD tried his best to save his life, he kept seeing Perry's face instead of his patient's. He knew he was overreacting, but he couldn't stop himself from worrying so much about the older man.

He knew Perry wouldn't start smoking again without any reason, just for the fun of it. There had to be an explanation, there had to be reason, there had to be something that was going on with his mentor, and JD knew he had to find out what it was, even if Dr. Cox tried to kill him in the process.

He took a deep breath to relax himself before he pulled away from the railings and stepped back into the hospital to finish his shift.

Perry finished his cigarette and threw the end into an ashtray. He walked over to the door, a bit more relaxed than he was before, and entered the hospital. In the end of it all he had to admit that JD's anger touched him a little. The kid probably cared quite a bit about him if he was making so much of a fuss out of this. He couldn't resist the small smile that crept onto his face.

He let the smile hang on his face as he opened the door to the hospital, but as soon as he was inside he let it slip away.

JD was leaning on a wall opposite to the smoker's corner exit and watched Perry as he entered the hospital. He'd figured that the older man would head there after they lost their patient. He was sad to see he was right. He crossed his arms on his chest and sighed. His anger from before had died down and now he was just worried about Perry. He felt like almost all of his thoughts revolved around Perry and his smoking, and he couldn't figure out why it bothered him so much.

The young doctor shook his head as he moved away from the wall and walked to the nurse's station to grab his next patient's chart. He idly hoped that he would stop worrying about Perry, that his thoughts would give him some peace for the rest of the day, but he knew they wouldn't.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors (3/5)

**Author's Note:** JD/Cox slash. Based on the song by the Editors "Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors".

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

_"I can't shake this feeling I've got  
My dirty hands, have I been in the wars?  
The saddest thing that I'd ever seen  
Were smokers outside the hospital doors"_

The next day Perry walked into Sacred Heart with a bit of hesitation. He could see JD and Carla standing by the nurse's station from a far distance and on his way towards them he wondered if he was going to be greeted by an _angry-not talking-sending death glares-Newbie_ or an _angry-lecturing-not leaving him alone for a minute and telling him how much he should stop trying to kill himself-Newbie_.

When he approached the nurse's station he was relieved to find that it was neither of the two. He found the _happy-talking to much-girly-Newbie_ he always knew.

"Good morning Dr. Cox!" The younger doctor greeted him cheerfully.

He gave JD a questioning look, a bit surprised that he wasn't angry with him, "Morning Sofia. I don't know how good it can be, considering it involves meeting you."

JD rolled his eyes, thought it didn't look like he was offended. He was used to Perry's sarcastic remarks by now and he believed that the other man didn't really mean them; he was just tiring to keep his reputation. Still, he played along with the older man because he knew it was important to him.

"Good morning JD. Good morning Dr. Cox." Elliot greeted them with a big smile smeared on her face as she walked to the nurse's station.

Dr. Cox rolled his eyes, "I was hardly suffering Ginger here and now you came along? I might just have to shoot myself in the leg to distract the pain from my head." He said and walked away.

JD noticed as Elliot's smile turned into a frown and gave her a comforting smile, "Don't worry Elliot, you know Dr. Cox, that's how he rolls. And besides, I think he's going through a rough time right now."

"Well, to me it seems like there's a big stick up his ass and it's been there for a long time!" Elliot said, pouting. She gave JD a curious look and added, "Why do you think he's going through a rough time?"

"Ammm… He just seems a bit… off lately, and grumpier then usual." JD said, deciding it won't be wise to tell more people about his mentor's new habit.

"Still, it doesn't make it okay for him to act like an asshole." Elliot replied angrily.

"You're right, but you know everyone here has got their own way of dealing with things, which sometimes drive other people crazy. I guess he's not to keen about my somewhat dreamy behavior and with your fricking out, hysteric one too." He gave her an apologetic smile.

"Hey! I'm not hysteric!" Elliot protested. JD gave her a _come on_ look.

"Alright, alright, maybe you're right. Oh, why do you all have to be so annoying in the morning?!" She shrieked and stormed off.

JD looked after her, rolling his eyes. He took his charts and went on with his day. The night before he decided he would act like nothing happened, giving Perry the impression that he decided to leave the subject alone. But when the opportunity would come, and he'll get some time alone with his mentor, he planned to confront him and not leave him alone until he tells him why he started smoking again. He just hoped that that opportunity would come soon.

* * *

Perry turned the corner and saw Carla's back. He was contemplating on running the other way before she could see him, but he knew he had to face her sooner or later, and he figured sooner would be better.

He walked slowly towards Carla and tapped her on her shoulder. She turned her head and when she saw it was Perry she gave him an angry look and went back to looking in a chart she was holding.

Perry wiped a hand across his face, "Carla, can I talk to you?"

Carla turned around again but walked right past him.

"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have burst out on you like that." He said as he followed her.

She kept walking until she reached one of her patient's rooms. She checked his vitals, ignoring Perry.

"Carla, come on, please stop being so stubborn."

"Don't tell me what to do. I was just trying to help you and comfort you because you seemed upset, and in return you gave me one of your stupid rants. Maybe Bamby lets you walk all over him, but I'm not that much of a pushover."

"Okay, okay, you're right. I don't know what got into me; you know you're the last person I want to drive away. I'm sorry." He crossed his arms across his chest and waited for her response.

Carla could sense Perry was uncomfortable with the all situation, being apologetic and actually admitting to needing someone else, and she could see he meant what he said. She knew how hard it was for him to say those things and she appreciated it, "Alright, apology accepted. But don't you do that again."

"I promise mom."

"Watch it." She opened her mouth again and was about to bring up the same subject from yesterday, but then she decided that maybe it would be better to leave it be for awhile. It did seem to strike a chord on Perry's nerves and she didn't want to irritate him again.

* * *

Hours later, an exhausted Perry walked over to one of the on call rooms. He finally had some time to rest, before he had to go back and treat his patients.

He opened the door and collapsed onto one of the beds with a sigh. He covered himself with a blanket and shut his tired and sore eyes. He was starting to fall asleep when he heard a soft knock on the door. He growled loudly, hoping it would be enough to make who ever it was to go away.

"Dr. Cox, can I come in?" Perry huffed in annoyance as he recognized JD's voice.

"No! Get the fuck out of here or I swear you'll regret the day you walked into this hospital." He shouted angrily.

"Dr. Cox, I'm coming in."

"Newbie…" He said in a threatening voice, but the young doctor walked into the on call room, closing the door behind him. Perry opened his eyes and gave JD a death glare, "Please, oh please Barbara, leave me alone."

"Can't, Dr. Cox."

"What do you want from me?" Perry huffed at him.

"I want to know what happened, why you started smoking again."

"Newbie, it's none of your fucking business and also, if you won't let me sleep right now I'll make a hanger out of your scrawny little body and hang my lab coat on it. Don't forget to close the door behind you when you leave." Perry said and shut his eyes again, hoping JD would really leave this time.

"I'm not leaving this room until you tell me."

"Fine, "Perry said as he stood up and started waking over to the door, "Then you can stay here all day long if you want. I'll find somewhere else to sleep." He reached for the door knob with his hand when suddenly JD put his own hand firmly on the door and blocked his way.

"Sarah, move your hand _now_ or I'll rip it out of your body and hit you with it."

"I'm not afraid of you." JD said. Perry could see his arm shaking.

"Yeah, I can see that." he said with a smirk, rolling his eyes at JD.

They stood like that for awhile Perry crossing his arms on his chest and  
waiting for JD to move his hand. When the time passed and JD didn't cave, the older doctor contemplated on if to shove JD and walk away, or to give in and talk to him, as it seemed that JD wouldn't leave the subject alone.

Perry sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. He walked back to the bed and set on it, deciding to stay.

"Alright, alright, you win. I'll do anything if you'll just let me sleep." The older man leaned his tired body on the wall behind him and waited to here what JD had to say.

The younger man took his hand down and held it with his other hand, playing with them uncomfortably, "So, why did you start smoking again?"

Perry set in silence for a few moments before answering, "I guess lately everything has been a bit too much. Jordan has been annoying me, more then usual, work is hell as usual, I'm running around here all day and then I come back home to run around Jack and take care of him. He cries almost every freaking night and doesn't let me sleep. And, because until now I've been literally drowning my sorrows in scotch and other well appreciated liqueurs, and it's not to smart to drink all day when you've a baby, I've cut back on my drinking and started smoking instead," He gave JD a sad smile, "If I won't drink or smoke I might kill someone in this hell hole." He paused again and looked to the floor, "It might be a horrible habit but sadly it works."

JD listened carefully to his mentor, and when he was done talking he had no idea what to say.

Perry looked at him with a smug smile, waiting to see how he would react. He chuckled when he saw JD couldn't come up with anything to say.

"So, Dr. Phil, what do you have to say?"

JD crossed his arms on his chest and frowned at Perry. He sighed and went over to the bed and set beside the older man, their legs brushing lightly.

"Ok, that's a lot, and I feel pretty stupid that I haven't figured it out myself. I should know you better. I should've seen something was going on."

Both were quite for a few moments until JD spoke again, "I didn't say I have all the answers. I just wanted to know what was bothering you, because you seemed upset."

Perry looked down at his hands, not wanting to meet JD's concerned look.

"I… I'm sorry that's things are like this right now. I know how crappy it can get, but I just, I just wish you'd quit smoking."

"I want to stop too, but it easier said then done. Look, Newbie, I just feel like it's all coming down on me lately and I have no power to handle it anymore. I just wish I could take a bit time off from everything and just lie down and relax." He sighed heavily, rubbing his face with his hands.

JD was quit for awhile. It was hard for him to hear his mentor, his super hero, talk like that. He always seemed like he had everything under control, like he'd no problem handling any situation and nothing could hurt him. Thought inside JD knew that it wasn't true, that everybody hurts he wanted to believe other wise.

"If I could find something else that would help you relax and feel better, would you quit smoking?"

"Hell yes, but I don't want you to get your hopes too high Shelly, it's not that easy. I think the next step is taking drugs and I'm not sure you'd like that." He said and gave JD a playful smile.

JD didn't fund that amusing and kept the worried look on his face. They stayed quite for awhile. Perry looked at JD as the other was deep in thought. It always amazed him how much the younger doctor cared for him, he never really understood why.

"Alright, I'll let you sleep; it looks like you really need it." JD said after a few more minutes. Perry nodded in agreement. JD lifted himself from the bed and headed over to the door. He turned around and smiled at the older man, "You can count on me. I'll figure something out."

Perry chuckled, "I'm sure you will Monica."

They looked at each other for a long moment and then JD opened the door and walked out of the room, closing it behind him.

Perry lay down on the bed again. He sighed, going over the conversion in his head. He pulled the covers over him once again and started drifting into sleep, thinking about how much he could use a smoke at that moment.


End file.
